Hiatus Announcement | Rebranding

Hi there!

I wanted to talk about my sudden disappearance again.  The truth is I haven’t known where I was going with this blog for a long time.  I’m pretty sure everyone could tell that just based on my sporadic posting and random posts.

I’m a bit lost and originally I decided that that was okay. That I’d figure it out along the way, but there’s no structure and I’m unmotivated to write for this blog because of that.

It took me a while to reach this point, but I’ve decided to go on hiatus for this blog until I figure out what I want and where I want the direction to go here.  I hope that you stick with me as I’m in the midst of working on the re-brand! I will still be relatively active on my book blog so please make sure to check me out there (Exuberant Bookworm)!

Thank you for all the love and support that you have given me thus far. I hope to see you again ❤

xx

Girls Night In: Sex, the First Time, and Consent

Look at me bringing back Girls Night In! I can’t believe I let these slip away, I kind of hate that I didn’t continue and be consistent about my series post, but ehh that’s water under the bridge now.

Today’s topic is going to be a bit of a sensitive topic to some people so I just want you to know that it’s TOTALLY Okay if you click away from this post.

 Today’s topic… okay wait for it… -pauses for dramatic effect- Sex and the oh so magical first time. Oh and consent.  We can never forget about consent.

Oops you definitely already knew that from the title! Caution possible cheesiness ahead.

Peach Flower Frame clip art
Here we go.  Let’s all keep in mind that this is just my two cents, feel free to agree or disagree as this is how I feel about it.

I think we can all agree though that the first time is this magical idea that’s been built up in our minds probably since we were able to grasp the idea of sex.  And that’s okay.  It’s not that they’re completely wrong to say or believe that.  Some people find it to be very emotional or spiritual.  Some people just consider it to be a very special thing.

I just want to preface the rest of this post with this statement: Sex is not a subject to be taken lightly.

Whether it be your first time or your 100th time.  It’s not something you can just do carelessly, there are real consequences and factors to consider. LOL I swear I’m not trying to convince anyone away from having it and yes I am WELL aware that I sound like a lecturing parent.

Hey I’m all for sex. If you’re ready and you’re SURE that you’re ready then who’s to say no.  (Oh god, please to the minors especially, let’s finish the rest of the post before you go off and have… any sort of intercourse).

Let’s be real here.  There are 2 main risks when having sex; pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.  Those are VERY real. More real than some people think (or don’t think lol who thinks in the heat of the moment?).  These are the two main reasons that people (myself included) think that sex shouldn’t be taken lightly.  Yes, oh yes believe me it’s fun and it feels good, but it feels better if you don’t have to worry before, throughout or after the actual deed is done.  It’s not difficult either, to take steps to prevent those risks.

I’m starting to sound like I’m teaching a sex-ed class wow.

Look TLDR; be smart. 

Use a condom, or go on birth control, and make sure that you and your partner have been tested for STDs (STIs? See this is one of the many problems with the education system. Sex-ed is way overlooked).

Now let’s get to the juicy part of this topic…

Peach Flower Frame clip art

My first time. I’m definitely not going to go in to all the specific details. But I can tell you a few things.  My first time was with my current boyfriend and I was 20 (old by many standards these days).  Before then I really hadn’t had much interest in sex and when the subject was brought up I always replied with the same standard answer that had been drilled into my brain. “I’m going to wait for the one. I’m going to wait until I’m married.”  Younger me clearly didn’t understand how hormones worked.

I’ll admit to being scared.  The idea was new and frankly a little frightening. I heard the horror stories. It hurting the first time, as well as the idea that I’d bleed. But (and here’s when the cheesiness rolls in) I waited until I was ready.  Being nervous is completely natural.  There’s nothing wrong with being nervous.  However  there’s a difference between being nervous and not being ready.  I had more than one opportunity to have sex before I did for my first time, but I wasn’t ready and it was obvious. My body clammed up; my mind made my entire body panic. I trusted my instincts and it didn’t steer me wrong. Sure there were some “drawbacks” (I put that in quotes because most people see them as drawbacks, but really they’re not) to choosing to say no, but ultimately it was the right decision.

Peach Flower Frame clip art

Here are some thoughts and things I considered before, during, and after my first time.

BEFORE

  • My boyfriend and I had a few discussions about the topic beforehand. We wanted to be on the same page no matter what. (THAT IS REALLY EXTREMELY IMPORTANT)
  • We planned for it. Like I said. Safe sex is one of the best decisions you could ever make in your entire life. If you’re not ready to have a baby use a condom, use birth control, hell use both. Make sure you’re both tested to be sure and even then I’d still recommend a condom (seriously… forget the “it feels better without one” excuse guys use. It feels fantastic even with one on. Its not going to kill him to use a condom) no glove no love.
  • It doesn’t matter how long you wait to have sex. It’s not like you won’t ever be able to do it if you wait a few more years until you’re sure you’re ready.

HOW IT FELT (during)

**I have to preface again by saying that this is my personal experience so it could be different for you and most likely will

  • We all know that the idea of the “first time” has been highly romanticized. But it does feel good.  For me personally my first time didn’t hurt.  Much to my relief.
  • Happy.
  • I was relieved with how my boyfriend treated me.   It made me feel safe and respected and that’s how you should feel before during and after sex.

AFTER

How should you feel after?

  • Satisfied
  • Happy

Sex is meant to feel good. If it doesn’t feel good at any point you need to stop.  That’s common sense, but just in case you’re unsure (I know this is a topic that people seem to think is full of uncertainty).  The fact is if it hurts and you don’t want to continue then you have the right to say no.  Even if you’re halfway through and you decide you don’t want to do it anymore you have that right.  Peach Flower Frame clip art

Let me be clear:

THERE ARE NO GRAY AREAS WHEN IT COMES TO CONSENT.

You are not obligated to do anything sexual with anyone.  Its sickening and frankly really worrying that people don’t understand what real consent is.  If you say yes that’s fine.  If you say no that is also fine.  If you’re not sure again also fine.  But unsure and no are always going to be NO until you’re sure.  Pressure or not if you’re anything, but a complete yes then consent has not been given.  If someone is physically unable to consent (eg passed out, drugged, drunk) then the answer is no.

I know it sounds like this whole post has become a lecture, but this is a really important topic.   It’s one that I have considered for quite a while.

And so my friends here is the unsolicited final 2 cents I have for you.  Make sure you’re 100% read.  Even if you think you’re ready and then you find yourself hesitating RIGHT before you’re about to do it then you’re not ready (I should know I was once in that position). And when you’re sure that you’re ready make sure to USE PROTECTION (unless you’re trying for a baby.. in which case just make sure you have yourself and your partner tested). In short use your brain.  It’s gotten you this far you should trust it.

If you have any suggestions or want to hear about something for Girls Night In you can either leave a comment or you can fill out the really simple form below. While I can’t guarantee all topics suggested will be used I will do my best to discuss things you all want to hear!

Stay tuned for the next post!

xx

 

 

 

Connect with me on other social media

tumblr| instagram | twitter | pinterest | facebook

 

A Little Life Advice: On Saddness

I have a new spin on the very new series A Life Advice (ALLA). I was struck with inspiration (or I should say my boyfriend gave me a great idea) after giving myself a new journal to work on.  I wrote a little intro/note to myself when I started the journal because I didn’t want to leave the first page blank; one which I’ll probably end up sharing with you in a later post when I reference that journal again (lol!).

I ended up writing one for my boyfriend who suggested I post some on my blog. Today’s ALLA is on Saddness. (When you read this please keep in mind this was meant to be an introduction with the purpose of a journal)

“For the moments when the negativity has seeped so far into your bones that giving up feels like the only way it’ll get better.  Sadness, negativity, they’re necessary to balance the world out. You need it. Don’t bottle it up. Don’t let it carve a home into your soul.  Let it out.  You have a safe place, so make use of it.  When you can’t bring yourself to unload everything onto anyone close to you, come here.  The world will be there when you get back. Take some time for yourself.”

 

**This series won’t be on a consistent schedule. I tend to write these kinds of things during a certain mood and at my own pace, but please look forward to reading more of these in the future! 

What do you think about sadness? Is it necessary? What kind of life advice would you like to see?

 

 

 

Connect with me on other social media

tumblr| instagram | twitter | pinterest | facebook

 

A Look Inside my Journal

So recently I made a tutorial post for notebook signatures (or just a very simple notebook in general) and I thought that it might be nice to give you a look inside the first journal/notebook that I ever made for myself.  I’ve been obsessed with making my own journals for the longest time.  I went down the Youtube rabbit hole and came out with a new hobby.

My first handmade notebook is pretty clumsily made, but I absolutely love it to pieces.  It’s a journal/junk journal from a tutorial that I found on Youtube. It’s probably actually a mix of tutorials because I didn’t want to go out and buy some of the stuff people were using for binding.

The cover I made out of one of those kraft envelopes folded in half. The opening gave me a pocket in the back of my journal. All I had to do was fold, bind and decorate!

 

The front cover
and a side view. (Sorry about the lighting lol!)
Another side view lmao

This notebook that I’m about to give you a peek into is actually full of random pages. Some of coffee/tea dyed printer paper some of cue cards, envelopes, this translucent paper that was wrapped around a corn dog I ate.

The possibilities are ENDLESS when it comes to junk journal pages.

I even printed off some sheet music and used that as pages.

Heck I even tore a map out of an old book and used washi tape to put it in as a page in my journal.

This one and the one beneath it are probably my favorite pages from the entire journal

The beauty of a junk journal is that the pages don’t all have to be the same size, they don’t have to be themed (though I love it when they are lol). You just have to like them and how they look together. I was going through a phase where I really, really liked the vintage notebook junk journal style that I was seeing everywhere on Youtube.  And so my first journal was created. 

I selected a few of the pages in my notebook to show you, but if you would like to see the whole thing I have a video full flip through! What’s your notebook preference? What kind of pages do you like in your journals? Which is your favorite page?

 

 

 

Connect with me on other social media

tumblr| instagram | twitter | pinterest | facebook

DIY Journal: Signatures | DIY Series

I’ve been meaning to make a journal tutorial post for SO long. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about it a couple times before, I’ve just never actually finished one. I debated for kind of a long time what kind of journal I would show you how to make.  Some of them are really simple, and some require a lot more attention to detail.

And then I decided to break it up into a bunch of different posts.  This tutorial can actually be a standalone though because technically signatures can be used as a journal regardless of having a cover or not.

Today’s tutorial will be pretty dang basic! Lol we have to start somewhere.

What is a signature?

A signature is basically a set of pages bound together. Multiple signatures often make up a complete journal. If you look at some of the thicker store bought notebooks (ones that aren’t spiral bound) you might be able to see the set of signatures put together to make it.  Sometimes like in most composition notebooks there’s just one giant signature.

Today’s tutorial will show you how to make a signature like this:

Things you will need:

  • Standard size printer paper (or card stock, scrapbook paper, scrap paper in general) ** I used 3 and a half sheets of printer paper (8.5 x 11) for this particular tutorial.
  • String (I used some of that spare friendship bracelet string that I found in the basement a while back) ** Bakers Twine also works. I’ve actually even used elastic string.
  • A needle **Okay so you could probably get by without a needle, but trust me it makes your life easier.
  • Scissors
  • Something with a sharp point to poke holes with **you could use the needle, but it’d take forever. And your needle would probably dull
  • And a couple of binder clips (optional)

Steps

  1. First thing’s first you’re going to take a piece of paper and fold it in half. (Hamburger half not hotdog)

    Yay for diagrams!
  2. Repeat step 1 for all sheets of paper until you have four pieces of paper folded in half. This tutorial will teach you how to create a small 14 page signature, but by all means add as many sheets of paper as you want I picked a 14 page signature because I like small easily finished signatures.
  3. Next you’re going to split each page at the crease. You can cut it, but I find it easiest just to make the crease really sharp and then tear it. When you’re done you should have 8 half pieces in total. Put one half page to the side if you’re going for a 14 page signature like in this tutorial.

    The result should be these half page pieces
  4. Fold each of the half pieces in half again (still hamburger fold) and then put them together to form a little booklet. At this point if you chose to have the binder clips with you go ahead and put one on either of the short ends of the booklet. It holds them together nice and tight for the next step!
    Fold them in half again and make a booklet

    Binder clips to hold the pages in place so they’re all equal when making the holes in the next step
  5. After your booklet is put together all neat and tidyyou’re going to put holes in the crease where you’ll be threading your string through. Now if you’re lazy like me you could skate by with two-three holes, but it would affect how your signature stays together.  I recommend 6 holes (3 sets of 2).  Here’s where your something sharp comes into play.  From experience I can tell you that unless you use enough force and have a sharp enough pointed object you’re not going to be able to poke holes through all of the pieces at once.  Go two or three pages at a time to make it easier on yourself. (I tried to rush it earlier while I was making a few of the signatures for myself and gave myself a cut. Impatience leads to pain lol!)

    Dots represent the holes for the binding. The marks for two holes and three holes are done to show which places approximately on the crease the holes should be made to maximize the sturdiness of the binding despite the smaller number of holes used.
  6. All that’s left is to bind your signature!
    Depending on where you want to make the knot to finish the binding you’re going to either thread the string in from the inside or the outside. Personally I don’t like having excess string on the inside pages of my notebook and so when I bind my pages together I thread from the outside going in. If you follow the pattern correctly both ends of the string you’ve threaded will end up either on the outside or the inside (In the case of this tutorial both ends of the string will be on the outside of the signature).
  7. Tie the two ends off and add an extra knot after the first not to make it secure (if you only tie it once it will come undone) and Voila! A finished signature and or a finished journal!

The steps above are a very BASIC tutorial for a signature or journal.  

This method can be applied to any number of pages, and any kind of paper size (for junk journals like to use different sized pages and pieces of paper to give it some layering). Once you get the hang of creating a basic signature there are all sorts of possibilities.

Now if you wanted to use this signature as a stand alone journal you could bind as many pages as you wanted together and use a thicker piece as the front and back cover.  You could use colored paper, or scrap paper to decorate the cover.  I personally have chosen to use the signatures in the above pictures just as they are and then in the future once they’re finished I’m going to bind them all together and add a cover to make a complete journal.

There will be more journal DIYs in the future! I plan to get into more advanced kinds of binding as well as book covers and a bunch of other hopefully fun things. So please also look forward to that!

Have you ever tried to make your own journal or notebook before? How was my first tutorial? Is there anything you would like to request?

 

 

 

Connect with me on other social media

tumblr| instagram | twitter | pinterest | facebook

A Little Life Advice: tattoos

Since the beginning of high school getting tattoo has been on my bucket list.  And on May 25th, 2017 (yes yes I know it’s been over a month this post is so late.) I finally got my first tattoo.

(Count that as another thing crossed off the list!)

I have always, always found it to be a beautiful method of self expression.  Now trust me on this one tattoos are NOT that big of a deal.  And by that I mean nobody should make a huge deal about you getting a tattoo (unless its a positive one because tattoos are great!)

Tattoos are not for everyone

That is a completely valid statement and I wouldn’t ever force a tattoo on anyone who doesn’t want one (they are permanent after all). That being said if you can’t force a person to get a tattoo, then you can’t force a person NOT to get a tattoo. It works both ways.

They won’t ruin your life I promise (provided you don’t get something like swear words tattooed across your forehead. You might have yourself some troubles then lol)!

To those of you who are considering getting a tattoo…

There’s a lot to consider. I totally get it. I waited for 6 years with the same design in mind because I was scared I would accidentally make the wrong choice and wind up stuck with something that I didn’t like for the rest of my life. I took a sharpie and put the design on my wrist to see what it would feel like (I’d ofc have to reapply it after it rubbed off in the shower, but you get my point).

I also didn’t have any support from my family in terms of getting a tattoo so I had to wait until legally I could make that decision for myself.  But by that time my parents were like -shrugs- “okay if you’ve got the money do it. Just make sure you can cover it up if your workplace doesn’t want you to have a tattoo.”

What it all really comes down to is planning.  If you want a tattoo then get the tattoo.

Don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.

It’s your choice!  That being said don’t go off making any rash decisions.  I’m fairly sure going to get a tattoo in the heat of the moment just because someone might have said that you shouldn’t isn’t a good idea. I made sure that I wanted the tattoo before I went and got it and I also made sure that the design I wanted was actually something I wanted to have on my body for the rest of my life.

Making life decisions as permanent as this does take some time, so while tattoos are super cool and super fun it’s a really good idea to take your time while making this decision. Be smart about it and you really can’t go wrong.

A few things I learned about getting tattoos

  • Once you have the design you think you want. WAIT. Yes I know! I said don’t let anyone stop you from getting a tattoo (even yourself). But it’s important to be 100% sure that you want it.
  • Do your research! When you get a tattoo make sure that it’s in a tattoo place that’s high quality. Talk to someone you know whose gotten tattoos before (I asked a lady who works at the bank I go to for advice). Go online and check out reviews for tattoo places around where you live. When I did my research the high quality tattoo places all gave me the same minimum for a tattoo $80 CAD.
  • When getting the tattoo the tattoo artist (is that what you call them? I’m totally blanking) should have you in the room while they’re getting set up.  You need to be able to see them using a completely new needle and everything should be sterilized. If they don’t automatically do that in front of you then you need to ask.  It’s supposed to be common practice that they do such a thing, but if they don’t then you need to make sure that you ask.  There is nothing wrong with asking!
  • It doesn’t actually hurt as much as I thought it would. You always hear people going “ouch you want a tattoo? Isn’t it gonna hurt?”.  It didn’t hurt for me.  It was more like a warm slight sting.  Depending on how high your pain tolerance is it could be nothing more than little pokes!
  • And finally tattoos don’t have to have some really deep meaning to be worth it.  If you want a cute little turtle or duck tattooed on your shoulder then get it done (again just be sure you can live with it forever).  Now me being the sentimental creature that I am, I picked a tattoo that has a lot of meaning to me. But that doesn’t mean yours has to.  No matter what anyone says it’s your choice what you get tattooed on yourself.  Not all tattoos have to have deep meaning. Like I said tattoos are about self-expression. If you like turtles and you want a turtle tattoo then that’s you expressing your love of turtles. It doesn’t have to mean anything more than that.
  • They were right when they said once you get one tattoo you get addicted. I’m already planning my second one lol!

**If  its your first time and you have any questions about getting a tattoo feel free to ask me questions. I’m not an expert, but I can give you more on my experience in getting a tattoo!

Do you have a tattoo or tattoos? Are you considering getting one? What would you pick if you were to get a tattoo?

 

 

Connect with me on other social media

tumblr| instagram | twitter | pinterest | facebook

Leaving June and Joining July

Like on my book blog (which seems to get a lot more of my limited attention these days) I’ve decided to start doing monthly wrap ups and talk about things for the coming months (let’s hope these stick!).   I’ve been so absent on my blog and it makes me sad. I always come back with just one post stating while stating that I’m back for good and ready to start posting consistently, but let’s be real I haven’t done that any of the times I’ve said that I was going to.

So in order to combat that I’m going to stop saying those kinds of things lol and I’m going to just focus more on actually making posts.

As was mentioned in my other wrap up post I didn’t do all that much this month. June was hot, exhausting and rainy.  But everyone deserves a break!

~A few things I did in June~

  • Did another purge in my closet and really cut down on my tops and sweaters (this is a huge feat for me because now I can fit all my clothes into my closet all at the same time lol)
  • Started journaling again (I stopped for the longest time and it always bugs me when I stop.  I get lazy and laziness is not good!!)
  • Got a raise (as was mentioned in my other post :P) I will be getting an extra $1.5 an hour now!
  • Participated in Mahyria from My bookish Life‘s Typewriter Project (The final round is over tomorrow, but you should DEFINITELY check out all the entries to each round it was a super fun project to be a part of.)
  • Played a new game called: Bananagrams (which I absolutely ADORED and recommend to everyone)

~Joining July~

I think July will be a lot of journaling/art journaling posts (hopefully a how to make your own journal tutorial included somewhere in the mix), as well as more updates on the minimalism project (yes that is still going! somehow…). I want to get back into the swing of things without putting too much pressure on myself.

I cannot wait to get back to talking with all of you and hope that we get to know each other better!  I know that I’ll be doing a lot of self-reflection in July.

Future Posts!

  • Some Art Journal Process posts
  • DIY Journal Tutorial
  • A new segment: A Little Life Advice (First one out this week!)
  • Perhaps returning to GNI posts?

What is something you’d like to see from my return? How did your June go and where do you plan to get to in July?

 

 

 

Connect With Me!

tumblr| instagram | twitter | pinterest | facebook