Happy Friday everyone! First let me congratulate you on getting through another week. You did well, so let’s relax and unwind since it’s the beginning of the weekend. I’m not one to go out usually on Friday’s. I like to kick back put my hair up, put on my jammies and do almost nothing.
Tonight’s Girls Night In topic is a requested one:
Grab your beverage of choice and a snack, because I have a lot to say about this one.
I am no stranger to the wide array of “friend” types, as I have lived through both high school and college floating from group to group never solidly staying in one spot. To me there are three tells that you can look for that tell you that a person is a good friend.
- You don’t feel hesitant about telling that person anything. A good friend wouldn’t judge you for anything, even if they didn’t understand. There for you wouldn’t have any reason to hold back on your feelings or your thoughts or what’s happening in your life.
- They listen to you. This kind of ties in with the first point actually. A good friend actually listens to you and when I say listen I don’t mean listening to reply to you. There are two kinds of listening. Listening to respond and listening to actually understand and converse. A good friend doesn’t just listen to answer whatever you’re saying. They listen to understand you and to support you.
- They do not push you into doing things you don’t want to/feel comfortable doing. Any good friend wouldn’t ever ask you to do things that you don’t want to do. If they insist that you should do it and try to pressure you into it even after you’ve told them that you don’t want to then they aren’t a good friend. Bottom line is that good friends understand when to stop asking.
Sometimes I find it really hard to figure out who really is a good friend and who isn’t (I can be really terrible at reading people) so I determined for myself what three things I had to be sure of when considering people my friends. Some people may argue that there are more things that could be added to that list, but I think that when you really get down to it those three tells listed above are really all you need to tell if you have a good friend or not.
My best friend and I are complete opposites. We’ve been best friends since the 9th grade, which was when we met. Honestly we at first thought that the other hated us and really awkwardly kind of danced around each other for a while, but one day despite all of our differences we started talking and the rest is history. Throughout my high school career we weren’t the closest of friends. We ran in some of the same circles, but were never actually close until the end of 10th grade. That being said I do still consider her to have been my best friend since 9th grade and I’ll tell you why.
I was quite the pushover in high school. I was known to be in one main group of friends with three other girls and I stuck quite closely to them thinking these girls were going to be my best friends for the rest of our lives. I was wrong, because back then I hadn’t figured out my top three things for identifying good/real friends. They weren’t particularly good influences on me and as a young impressionable teenager I did a lot of stuff that I hadn’t really wanted to do, but because I was with them, did anyways.
The problem with the group of girls that I hung out with, was they weren’t real friends. I often felt like I couldn’t open up to them in case they’d laugh at me or they’d just ignore me or brush me off. Which may have you thinking ‘why in the hell did she even bother with them?’ The truth is, I didn’t know any better. I didn’t realize how wrong I was about them being good friends.
Despite the fact that I was in that group and that they didn’t get along with my current best friend (let’s call her E) E stuck with me. She always gave me a shoulder to cry on, even if she didn’t full understand why or what the problem was. I wasn’t afraid to tell her things the way I was afraid to tell my other “best friends” and she most certainly never pressured me or guilted me into doing things that I didn’t want to do.
Even though we weren’t close she was always there. Even though we didn’t have a lot in common she was there. From 9th grade up until now E has always been the truest friend I’ve ever had.
The long and the short of it is, if that person is always next to you supporting you and listening to you, then they are a good friend. You don’t need to have everything in common, you don’t need to spend every waking moment talking to each other, you don’t have to agree on every single little thing. A real (and good) friend sticks with you no matter what, even if you go weeks without talking (my bff and I do that sometimes. Schedules are very hard to get around -_-). You should be able to pick things up again as if the last time you talked was yesterday, because its not about how often you talk, or how much you have in common. Good, real friendship is about love and support through anything and everything.
What do you consider to be a good friend? What do you look for in a good friend? Do you think I missed something on the list?
If you have any suggestions or want to hear about something for Girls Night In you can either leave a comment or you can fill out the really simple form below. While I can’t guarantee all topics suggested will be used I will do my best to discuss things you all want to hear!
Stay tuned for next week’s post!
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